Subject: Quote from Bush
This is ABSOLUTELY the Quote of All Time.

When asked what is taking so long, President Bush reportedly replied:
"When I take action I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt."-President of the United States, George W. Bush.

 

 

 

George and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one big dog fight. They agreed that they would have five years to breed the best fighting dogs in the world and whosever dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. Osama and his dog handler Mohammed found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world, then bred them with the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves they could find. From the litters, they selected the biggest and strongest puppy and trained it day and night to fight to the death. After five years Osama and Mohammed came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. It's cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, George and his dog handler Boudreaux, showed up with a nine foot long Dachshund. It was the strangest looking dog anyone had ever seen. Boudreaux said it was a Cajun Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for George and Boudreaux because they knew there was no way that this poor excuse for a dog could possibly last 10 seconds with Osama's big, mean animal. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund slowly came out of it's cage, wagged it's tail, then waddled over towards Osama's dog. The Doberman/Rottweiler/Wolf snarled and leaped out of it's cage, then charged the poor Dachshund. But when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened it's mouth and ate Osama's dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the snarling beast. Osama came up to George and Boudreaux shaking his head in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers, and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves in the world. How did you do this?" "Da's easy", said Boudreaux, the Cajun. "We 'ad our bess plasic surgins workin' fo' five year for to make dat alligator look like a weenie dog."

 

 

The Atheist and The Bear   An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals! What pretty flowers!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear, right on top of him: reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky:  "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don't exist; and, even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light: "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a believer now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," the voice said. The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped its right paw ........ brought both paws together .... bowed its head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."           (from Beloved King Ministries)     THANKS REGI T.     THREE GUYS AND A GENIE Three guys, a Canadian, Osama bin Ladin and Uncle Sam are out walking  together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.  "I'll give each of you one wish - that's 3 wishes total," says the Genie The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada"  With a blink of the Genie's eye, POOF, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.  Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around  Afghanistan so no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.  Uncle Sam (A former civil engineer) asks, "I'm very curious. Please  tell me more about this wall."  The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out.  Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water".      Subject: Think Carefully - Is there really any correct answer? I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation,  but I think  it is fun to decide what one would do. The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and  structures destroyed.  Let's say that you're a photographer and getting still photos for a news service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes. You come across Osama Bin Laden who has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a tree limb and is about to go under. You can either put down your camera and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he loses his grip on the limb. So, here's the question and think carefully before you answer the question below: .... ... .... ..... ...... ....... ........ ......... .......... ........... .......... ......... ........ ....... ...... ..... .... ... .. . Which lens would you use? . Thanks James C. for forwarding: